I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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