Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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