Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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