u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
