I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
