I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
