I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
