There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
