Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
