Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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