OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
