I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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