Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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