I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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