What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
