I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
