DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize