Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
