the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize