I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
