It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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