They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
