it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize