Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you would pick up someone in the library
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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