It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
