everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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