I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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