Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize