They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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