I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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