this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
