So gin and wine won't be happening again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
