Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
