i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
