those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
