I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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