do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
