My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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