So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
