his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
