i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
