Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Mom said you looked used
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize