Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
