So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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