So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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