i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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