we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
how does that bad decision feel?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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