I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My dick has a subreddit
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
