it was like his penis was on wheels.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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