..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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