just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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