A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
