Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
