I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
