in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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