I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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