Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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