and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
